Sunday oldest and I went to see The Producers. The play was great the conversation was not. Talking with her is like pulling teeth. She then commented on her facebook that she was in a bad mood and wanted to live with bio in Arizona. Everyone pussyfoots around oldest because she's sensitive - she cries and pouts and is plain old miserable. I sit across from her at the dinner table and she angles herself so she doesn't have to look at me. Enough is enough. She doesn't want to live here anyway what is the worse that can happen. On the way to our meeting Wednesday night I let it all out. As mother-in-love says a car is a captive audience. I started calmly asking if there was anything else I should know about before my friends started calling me again (like the comment on facebook). At one point I pulled the car over to tell her exactly what was on my mind. Everything that has pissed me off, hurt my feelings or annoyed me came out. As we pulled into the parking lot at the fire house I ended with - you're sixteen years old, act your age. If you have a problem be an adult and let me know - stop this lying, sneaking crap and grow up. Of course this came after I got her to admit that she was uncomfortable at our house because her father loves her and is doing what he thinks is best for her. Hell, that would make me uncomfortable. I explained that when someone does something nice whether it is me or a stranger on the street a simple thank you is in order. I'm not asking for her to kiss my feet - just common courtesy and I let her know it. She stewed through the hour long meeting. I got an apology for her acting like a brat when we got in the car and she carried on a conversation the rest of the way home. She's been pleasant ever since. All I know is I feel better that I got it off my chest. Heck, she even looked at me at dinner.
I called mother-in-love and she said maybe that is just what she needed. Maybe.
Youngest is waking up before I have to go get her. She is perky. She doesn't fight bedtime anymore. She even shuts the TV off on time and goes to read without being asked. The only nightmares now is after a conversation with bio. Amazing what a regular schedule, bedtime and meals can do for a child.
Son is LOVING the police explorers. Last Saturday he helped with a wrestling match. He had his picture taken with two female wrestlers. Needless to say the were pretty blonds not wearing much. He had me e-mail his brother the picture with the message - look what I got.
Work - I have six more clients than I did on Monday. One is a new client and the other five I'm taking over for a full time accountant that they fired. In my three days a week I have been handling 8 clients and pet projects for my boss. He has not been able to maintain his five clients. It all came to a head this week when one of his clients expressed to upper management a vote of no confidence in his accountant and that he felt it was hurting his business. That client was immediately taken away. Yesterday HR came in and decided that instead of the lay off they had planned do to lack of performance that with this information in hand it would be a firing instead with no compensation. I feel bad - he is a nice guy. But, I'm cleaning up his accounts and OMG are they a mess. I have a blanket permission to work more than 3 days whenever I want or need to. I can also work at home two days and come in three. I have been putting a few extra hours at home the past few weeks cleaning up another disaster of his. They are also upgrading the system as of April 3 and I will have full access to the system at home. Yeah!
I have to admit part of me never wants to be full time again. The other part of me thrives on being busy and handling all of these clients. In five minutes of taking back an old client yesterday (he's been trying to do his financials himself) I found an $18,000 error in the clients favor. I can't wait to make that phone call. Plus I could really use the extra money now. I love having the kids home and safe but the grocery bill has gone up and I have no funds for me stuff anymore. Plus all the kids jumped a size at the same time.
Today is CPR class. I need to renew or the Girl Scouts can't go to the Dude Ranch in May. And then I'm off to the grocery store and bringing oldest and a friend to the movies to see A Haunting in CT.
6 comments:
sounds like that talking to was exactly what she needed!! good for you for sticking up for yourself and not tolerating rudeness!!!
Older teen-like people in my experience are prone to think the grass is always greener. It doesn't help when one parent is feeding this crap.
Well, after catching up on your "Busy Week" all I can say is: "Whew!"
Our job is to prepare kids for the world, a little at a time. If six year olds says "I hate you. You can't be my friend anymore," you give them a big hug and say "I love you" which really ticks them off, then send them to their rooms. When a sixteen year old does the same thing, your talk was the perfect reaction. It interesting that love makes her uncomfortable. Does she think she will only get it if she deserves it? With her mother, I wouldn't be surprised.
I'd love to work from home for two days. I know how you feel about the job.
Wow, you are busy. I am also applauding you and giving you a High Five for your wake up call to the Oldest daughter. I guess she wants to sit around all day in a hot desert apartment with no money and no friends? Then maybe she will be appreciative of what she has. Bio has twisted this girl into thinking if someone cares for you and does right by you, this is a problem? Sad, so sad.
I need to actually see that your oldest isn't the same person as Brandi. I think she's leading a double life! You are fortunate that you have a husband that backs you up on the car conversations. If I had done that, Brandi KNOWS that she can just run to Dave and tell him ANYTHING she can about her VERSION of the conversation and then it would be like a Mama bear all over me! It's STILL like that. He'll still yell at me defending her and her lies. So feel blessed that you are allowed to help this girl get on the right track in life. I guarantee that Arizona will be a fading threat. By the time she's 18, she'll be responsible and you two will have a real relationship. She's already starting to show signs of respect. That is the first sign of the right path. Keep it up. Glad you two are a united front. It ALWAYS starts with a united front. Nothing good comes from divide and conquer! That's why I'm OUT of the equation now. She's not worth my marriage.
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