Tuesday, January 26, 2010


Well, as much as he huffs and puffs and gives us the hairy eyeball and mutters under his breath, son does what he is told. He stayed home without incident.

The IT guy at work was ready to give away his four year old daughter today. I said I would trade him for a 15 y/o boy. No problem he said - boys are easy. I believe people who say that only have girls (which he does). I don't think either gender is easier, different maybe but not easy.

Must I stay home

Today is the last day of exams for the high school. They have half days during exams. Today is make up day and the other period both kids have study hall. Rather than have them sit at school for four hours we let them stay home. Son asked if he could take off second period and hang out at the mall with his "girlfriend" and a buddy. No!!!!!

First the buddy has been stopped by the cops several times for doing stupid things - pointing a laser at other drivers and such. Buddy has already been suspended from the fire department twice for his behavior. He has also been found going lights and siren to the firehouse for a call. A BIG NO NO, especially for a junior. And last time son went with buddy to the movies they did not go directly to the movies but way, way out of the way to pick up girl friend. Buddy and girlfriend are both ADHD. Which is totally not under control.

Girl friend or rainbow bright (RB) as we think of her as her hair color changes daily is a manipulating, rude user. She leads son around by the nose. When he is unavailable she just calls the next guy on her list. She hugs all the boys at the fire house except son. She really isn't his in any sense of the word. She just feeds him enough bull to keep stringing him along. When she came to pick him up to help feed the animals at school during winter break she called from the driveway and wouldn't come to the door. Hubby let him go. Never again. I said she could come to the door like a normal person. RB is afraid of hubby. Please, the big teddy bear. Maybe because he doesn't put up with her attitude at the firehouse.

And, there is no mall any where near here. Where are they really going?

Well, I can just take off with them any way. You'll never know. What gives you (hubby) the right to tell me what to do?

So, this morning he gets up and is going to go to school because he doesn't want to hang out at the house. Really? He's going to sit in the cafeteria for four hours. No, don't think so. And I don't trust the school to keep track of him. You are staying home I said. But, I don't want to. Sucks to be you was my reply. If you want I can stay home from work and babysit you? ( Hubby will be sleeping as he works night shift)

Monday, January 25, 2010

Family Visits

MIl and FIL flew Seth out from AZ. He's been staying with them since Sunday. He goes back home tomorrow. They were down last Tuesday for oldest's birthday. They took us all out for dinner. The kids sat at one end of the table catching up on family. Son was oh so not happy that he was there and not at the firehouse. He told his grandmother just that not once but twice. Her Rose colored glasses perceived him as getting along beautifully with Seth. No, he was at the end of the table one upping him and after dinner did you not notice he went down on the computer and avoided everyone else?

Friday night MIL invited all the kids to spend the night. We would pick them up Saturday when we came for pictures and a mini reunion. The girls went - son stayed home. He had some sinus issues and grandparents believed that was the entire reason. Well, I think they know the real reason but they told everyone it was because he didn't feel good.

I was invited to a 60th birthday party Saturday. I didn't want to miss it and frankly even though MIL and I have made up I wasn't really thrilled about going. I offered to take two cars so I could leave early for the party. Hubby insisted on one car so he could leave early as well. I was blamed for the early departure and he stayed home with the kids as I went to the party alone. Almost wish I was a fly on the wall to her all the scuttlebutt about hubby and I.

Seth barely talks to us. And unless you ask twenty questions holding a conversation is nearly impossible. He really doesn't do anything so there really isn't anything to catch up on. Hubby wants to spend less time with his family than I do. And as far as Seth is concerned hubby has put up a shield of protection to keep from having his heart broken any more. Hmm! Next week is nephew's college graduation and we are going to that. It will be an overnight trip. The kids are excited. It might be more conducive to a conversation with a few less people attending. SIL and her family were going to stay home because of kids and basketball but not wanting to be left out and because she is the martyr of the family she will be driving the four hours up to the graduation and back in the same day.

MIL had everyone at the house for family pictures. Getting several of the grandchildren (two being mine)to cooperate was worse than pulling teeth. But, that chore is over. She will be getting a disc of all the pictures. Should be interesting to see how they turned out.

Work is insane. We have new clients - I have new clients. If my boss piles any more on my plate I believe she thinks I will come back full time. The money would be great. Paying bills would be much easier. I would trade the stress of making ends meet for the stress of being there 40 hours a week. I will put in more time when needed. I will work from home but, I will NOT be going back full time.

I am really taking stock of the things I do. Some things that I used to enjoy I no longer do. Committees I am on will be eliminated as my terms come due. I will be saying good bye to a few things this year. The time has come.

I just finished reading A Reliable Wife. I really enjoyed it. Sex, madness, murder, death, love and grief with twists and turns and surprises in the plot. I love it when I am surprised. I find so many books predictable - that is so boring.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

What's Cooking?

Friday night my J and his girlfriend came for dinner. It's been cold and windy as winters usually are so I decided on summer picnic food. We had fried chicken, baked potato salad with the works and roasted butternut squash at J's request. He brought foccacia bread and we followed the meal with double chocolate mocha trifle.

Last night we took oldest and her girlfriend our for grinders before bowling for her birthday party. We came home to a black forest cheesecake. The kids get to pick what they want for their birthday and oldest has been working her way through the cheesecake cookbook.

Tonight I'm making sausage and cauliflower soup. I'll serve that up with bread toasted in the oven with a garlic compound butter slathered on.

Summer vacation is booked. Each year I trade our time share for a new location. I give them a six week window and request a bunch of destinations and wait for a confirmation in my e-mail box. The e-mail came yesterday. Wohoo!! I am so excited. I can't mention to where in case any of the kids stumble across my blog but I'm going to be enjoying some of the best fried catfish, hush puppies and sweet tea this summer. I was there about 15 years ago with my parents and we had a blast. I can't wait to take hubby and the kids. It is going to be so much fun.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Where has the time gone?

Thank the Goddesses for Vitex agnus-castus! After my lovely mammogram that only proves I have dense breasts they sent me for an ultra sound. They found a cyst in my left breast. Come back in six months for a follow up ultra sound. I was not concerned - I get functional ovarian cysts monthly with my cycle ( go on the pill the doctors said). I skipped that and started taking my vitex tincture daily and the ovarian cysts stopped. I had stopped the vitex and decided to go back on it. The follow up ultra sound - they couldn't find a thing. And this year I am telling them they can skip a mammogram.***

Oldest's car is back from the shop - completely gone through and ready for the road. I've been having her chauffeur me around so she can get used to her car. She just needs to call DMV and set up an appointment for her test. She's doing pretty good but if you are in a hurry at night don't follow her.

MIL came down to visit yesterday and took me to lunch. After hubby left to do errands she asked if we could clear the air. She knew there was a problem and she wanted us to fix it. I was calm enough by now to explain my hurt and frustration. She said I should have called earlier but I explained that I was to upset and would have said things that I couldn't take back. We are in a much better place and the door is now open to fix things much easier.

I did learn that my Christmas letter was upsetting to one nephew. Other than saying Seth moved back to AZ with bio I did not give an update on him. Nephew asked his mom if she would stop mentioning him after he moved out. I said I did have an update in the letter and hubby thought I should take it out. The update was: Seth works at McDonald's part time. Not that their is anything wrong with working at McDonald's but at 21 he sleeps on an air mattress in the living room at his grandmother's two bedroom trailer that he shares with six other people, he works part time, plays video games and reads comic books and thinks Hubby and I are jerks (that should really read something that begins with an a). But, hey if you want next year I can put that little bit of info in the letter or maybe just write ditto what he has done since graduating.

Also, My J, who does NOT want kids EVER, NEVER, EVER was here thanksgiving. He has been dating the same girl for over a year. His sister joked that the daughter of her divorced girlfriend with four kids wanted J to date her mother. (Never mind that he is dating someone) I said no, don't do it. Apparently that means that I hate kids, am having problems in my marriage and am sorry I have four children. Luckily my MIL is a little smarter than some that were there and explained to them (when they asked about it after they left) that maybe they should look at my actions instead of my words. No one spends more time, energy and love on Oldest, Son and Youngest than Kim she explained. Thanks! I said I noticed some strange looks and that the conversations just ended. Not once did anyone say, Kim what did you mean? There is a novel idea. I told MIL that they should start doing that. I am far more blunt and honest than his family is used to. I can be a little rough around the edges and I tell it like it is. Unlike SIL who pretends that the whole world is perfect. She actually said that her and her teen age daughter get along 100% of the time. Really!!!???

So, to set the record straight - I am not having problems in my marriage (not that things are perfect 100% of the time), I love my kids and wouldn't trade them for the world. I would marry my husband and take on his kids all over again. And I would never recommend anyone who does not want kids to have them. Kids, all kids, deserve love and nurturing and their are far too many out their right now who don't have that (and one child is too many). And please, when you only see me a couple times a year and don't ever hold a conversation with me make assumptions.

Tuesday oldest turns 17. Tonight her friends are coming over for a bowling party and pizza. Tomorrow Seth flies in for the week. MIL and FIL paid for his flight. He is staying with them. We will see him Tuesday night for oldest's birthday and Saturday at the big family reunion so we can all have pictures taken. That is another long story. Do I keep my mouth shut or do I address the I'm sorry I ever married my husband question? That I'll have to wait and see what the day brings.

*** I am not a doctor. This is a public forum and if you choose to ignore your doctors advice and use what worked for me do so at your own risk.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010


Well with a little butter, flour, pork cooking liquid and a splash of cream and I made a tasty gravy for the pork leftovers. To them I added a bag of mixed vegetables and more beans. I topped it with a buttermilk biscuit type topping that I stirred some cajun seasonings into. So the pork empanadas became pork pie. It was even better this way. Hubby took some to his Justin for dinner on the way to dropping oldest off for fire practice. J said the biscuits were like an orgasm in his mouth. I'll take that as high praise.

The banana bread that everyone is ignoring for breakfast is a hit for dessert. And this morning I turned the last of the soft bananas into cookies.

Today is roasted chicken and brown rice.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Cooking with son

I received the Diners, Drive Ins' and Dives cookbook for Christmas. Son loves the food from that show. He won't actually watch an entire episode with me. So, it was his turn to cook and he picked pork and sweet potato empanadas. It's an involved recipe I said. That's OK. So, the afternoon was spent cubing the meat and then putting it into marinade, making the dough and letting it chill, cooking the pork until it was fork tender and easy to shred, making pineapple salsa and chipotle glaze, cooking the sweet potatoes and then assembling the empanadas. They came out pretty good. I did scarp their dough recipe and made a fresh batch using "my" own recipe. We have plenty of filling left over. Try finding a 1 lb pork shoulder. I saved the cooking liquid and with the filling and few more ingredients we will have pork pot pie for dinner tonight.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New Year

Appetizers were yummy. Youngest's girlfriend spent the night and they play beautifully together. They tucked themselves in to bed around 11 so I was able to shut the lights off and go to sleep "early." Yeah! Hubby took a nap before work. His Justin (our adopted nephew) stopped by right after he went to bed. I offered to feed him before he headed out to who knows where. He ate, I packed him a to go package and we talked while we finished the puzzle the entire family has been working on for a week. It was a nice quiet evening.

Granny Annie posted the 10 things she has learned in the past decade. Here are my 10 lessons learned in no particular order.

1. Giving birth does not make a mother ( I sort of knew this but now definitely without a doubt know this).

2. That mental abuse can be far worse and longer lasting than any physical abuse.

3. That children can break your heart on a daily basis if you let them.

4. That when a child is hurt it affects everyone.

5. That it is every one's responsibility to love and nurture our youth. This I've always felt but it has really hit home these past few years.

6. That a good hug really does heal.

7. That it is OK to cry.

8. That my mom's dating advice was wrong. She told me all men were jerks and that I should get used to it. I spent many years trying to prove her wrong until hubby came along. (This does not in any way mean I never get mad at him - be real.)

9. That in times of crisis you learn who your true friends are and they priceless. You also learn who you can walk away from with no regrets during those times.

10. That my time is worth more than money.