Monday, October 25, 2010

A Good Mom

Just in case you were wondering what a good mom is let me tell you.

A good mom smokes through her entire pregnancy, she gets pregnant on purpose to snag a husband, she lies about everything, she teaches her children to lie and keep secrets, she poisons their minds against their father, she is her child's best friend and tells them exactly what they want to her, she never tells them the truth, she laughs when her infant son is found playing in the highway, she sleeps or plays on the computer rather than watches her children, she doesn't teach them to cook, she provides plenty of ramen noodles for them to eat as long as they heat themselves, she locks them in a closet for a week end if they do not cry when she disciplines them, she promises the world and delivers nothing, she puts them in front of the TV for days on end, she lets them watch R rated horror flicks starting as infancy, she refuses to take them to the beach in the summer because it is too hot out, she is annoyed that the school no longer sells soda, she does not value school or education, she blames the court for not having custody, you encourage your teen age daughter to live with her boyfriend, beds are optional, clothes that fit are optional, paying for anything for your child is unheard of, being annoyed that your kids had the opportunity to go to Disney you bleach their hair (age 6 and 11), you force your daughter to dye her hair neon orange (so you look more like mom than step mom), you are fired from every job you get, you are evicted from apartment after apartment, you move across country and keep promising your kids they will come visit (for years), you shack up with whatever guy will support you, you are a low class whore, your idea of a healthy meal is Doritos, popcorn and mountain dew, you sleep with your daughters and put the boys on the floor because the beds were reposed along with your car, you wear the same clothes for days on end because washing them is too expensive, you are on your son's checkbook so that you can spend the money he earns working part time to support yourself

1 comment:

Martha@A Sense of Humor is Essential said...

Gee, those parenting books have it all wrong