Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Saga Part 1

Wonder why I don't sleep well lately? And to all those who think I'm doing a great job as a mom - thanks it means a lot and at least someone thinks I'm doing OK. My kids not so much - well, bio has told them that giving birth is the only way you can be a great mom. I guess the manual drops out with the placenta. This is the same women who mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically abuses them every chance she gets but hey, I didn't give birth so what do I know?

Youngest's 6th grade class is filled with a group of boys that are disruptive to say the least. The parents condone their wild behavior. The group has been broken up between the three teachers as best they can but Goddess bless them.

One of these little boys I'll call SS (spawn of Satan) decided one recess to ask youngest to be his girlfriend as a joke. She thought he was crazy and wanted no part of him. Because we have told her that if you ignore silly comments they will stop that is what she did. Then his friends got involved because they thought this was really funny. Youngest ran to get away. They thought this was a hoot and chased her. One of her friends stepped in. The teacher on duty told youngest's teacher. Her and the school councilor talked to youngest. Then they talked to SS and his comment was, "she never said no." Needless to say we have amended our teachings on bullies. Scares the stuffing out of me - can just picture SS sitting there in court with that same excuse as his defense. Oh, this is the same boy who sends pictures of himself in his boxers to the girls in class.

This incident really bothered youngest. It ignited the I want my mommy instinct. In phone calls to bio she related that she has forgotten what bio looks like and wondered if she was coming for a visit. Bio says, "I sent you a picture." Youngest went on about how she hates it here and wants to live with bio and that there is nothing to do here. Bio said there was nothing to do there either. And when bio asked if I was treating her badly youngest replied, "no, she's really nice to me." As she cried hysterically.

But, despite the words I was still the bad guy because of course I could be. Then Thursday night youngest had a complete melt down. Dad never fought for me, Dad doesn't love me, you and Dad wouldn't let me say good bye to my dying I'm not sure how he's related (great uncle). Dad fought extremely hard and that is why you are here. If Dad didn't love you would you have a room of your own, clothes that fit, food in your tummy, Girl Scouts, vacations, posters, books,hugs and kisses good night.......
And if your uncle was so sick why didn't bio go say good bye without you kids? Because she was trying to kidnap them once again. Round and round we went in a conversational, crying snot running down your face type of way. Youngest cried herself to sleep and I barely slept. She was going to call bio the next day.

On the way to work I called my mommy in tears and talked until I arrived at work and was laughing. Apparently my ex husband is grounded by his wife when he doesn't do his chores. LOL

Hubby offered to take her bike riding after school. He was called into work but made a point to call her and reschedule. She never made a phone call. She was the most chipper kid I've seen in ages and I took everyone out to dinner because after two hours of sleep I wasn't cooking.

And in the midst of all that their is son.


Martha said...

Whew, I am so sorry for the heartache, it sounds like youngest realized a lot, a lot, lot, lot of pent up emotion.
She feels if she shares love with you, it betrays her mom and part of herself. It's a terrible place for any child of any age to be put in, truly.
You are a Mom to these children, biology is a pfiffle.

Laura Rose said...

OMG...sending you lots of love.