Saturday, December 5, 2009

holidays and clutter

I realized just how frustrated, annoyed I still was with my MIL when I talked to my girlfriend. I was like a dog with a bone and chewed that until very little was left. I realized that this Thanksgiving was the straw that broke the camels back. Each year she manipulates and causes stress and this year just really brought it to a head for me. And to top it off my dear hubby is petrified of rocking the boat with mommy dearest and says nothing. NOTHING! A little, hey mom do you know how much you .... hurt Kim's feelings, frustrate (the hell out of) her, make her feel incompetent. Something! I mean he doesn't have to tell her the down dirty swearing like a sailor rant she causes.

Youngest has been to the dentist. Christmas gifts are completely bought and wrapped. Well, my presents are still arriving. Hubby and I have turned into my parents. I have no idea what the electrical/paintball/tool stuff is that he wants. And he would spend full price on the books I want (the 1967 red corvette convertible and 6 burner viking range will have to wait until we hit powerball). So, when hubby said it would be easier for him to buy his own stuff I suggested we do just that. Now mind you I would be buying these books any way (and he his stuff) we just wrap it and hold it for a few weeks. We combine the Yule/Christmas celebration and have really, REALLY stuck to a budget this year. It has been way overboard in years past. Though I must admit mild compared to those around us.

Years ago my brother gave me Thanksgiving until death do us part, he took Christmas and Mom has Easter. He knows I love to cook, he has the small children and many Easters my parents are still in Florida. Since hubby and I were married (5 years ago) we have celebrated Christmas with my brother a week end before or a weekend after Christmas. With the kids visitations with bio and hubby working most Christmases it has worked out well. Many times I have gone to MIL alone (same for Thanksgiving too).

Not this year. Bio is nowhere to be seen. Yeah! My nephew and niece are 5 and 2. I am going to my brother's on Christmas. The kids are at the perfect Santa, magical age. Hubby is working Christmas Eve and Christmas night. He will arrive home and open presents with the kids and go to bed. MIL said we are more than welcome to come to their house. No, nope, nada, I don't freakin' think so, I thought. I said we'll see.

I went to my pagan group and talked about traditions. I love this group. Christmas held such warm fuzzy memories of family and friends for me growing up. With visitations, work and no consistency I have lost that feeling. My girlfriends Christmas Eve open house has become the highlight. Friends, food, casual, no pressure or expectations. I am taking that back this year. I have said no to the Christmas party that has lost its joy. I have excepted an invite to a Yule gathering on winter solstice. I am going to spend time with my kids and my family.

We also started talking about cleaning our houses. Removing the clutter and becoming clear. Ric, bless Ric, says he douches a room. He removes everything - washes from top to bottom and then puts back only the things that should be/need to be there. The rest finds a new home in the house, is tossed, recycled or given a way. Love it! I do that far less dramatically. I start with one wall, closet, shelf, etc at a time and do the same thing. Hubby and I just took a whole pile of items that have outlived their usefulness her to the tag sale room at the dump (transfer station). Maybe someone else can use it. It feels so good to eliminate stuff.

Friday morning my hubby finished work for the week. After the dump run he took me for breakfast. He then puttered around the house and I went for a massage. I also had my nails done for tonight's Holiday party for work. I'm usually not thrilled with manicure results but this was the best manicure ever. Yeah! And then hubby took all of us out to dinner.


Lynette said...

Holidays are so stressful! I just want an adult christmas. No kids (mine is grown) and enjoy friends, family, cocktails and appitizers. LOL you know pretty dress, heels and pearls type of thing

Walk in the Woods said...

Funny ... after Thursday's discussion group I find myself eying my *stuff* for things I truly value - to give away! :)

Martha said...

I love decluttering!! It's exhausting but energizing. I can understand the pyschological hassle of approaching a disagreeable parent about ANYTHING!! My mom is not speaking to me, so I think I will call her just to annoy her...
Bad daughter!

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