What about me?

I am in the balance program at work.  We discuss nutrition, diet, exercise, health - all to keep us in balance.  I'm also on the health & wellness committee.  I try very hard to feed my family healthy, nutritious meals.  We discuss these issues regularly.  My family is very healthy.  In three years the kids have only missed one day of school each for a sinus infection.

I'm healthy, my numbers all good and I'm rarely sick but the weight.  The doctor tells me to loose twenty pounds each time I go.  I really need to lose 40.  My diet is good and my portions are usually pretty good.  I've been training myself to eat slower.  The two horrible habits I picked up as a kid - eat fast and clean your plate.  It wasn't until I got to college and my roommate pointed out that I don't chew my food that I realized how fast my family ate.  I did start to chew after that but still....  And when you're the first one done and your son takes forever to eat you get seconds.  I'm no longer the first one done.  It has taken a long time to learn to put my fork down in between bites.

But, my biggest problem is lack of exercise.  I'm waiting for someone to walk with,  my husband won't show me how to use the equipment, I don't have the time...... the excuses stretch on forever.

Over the past few weeks some of us girls have been discussing the emotional side of weight problems.  I know my biggest issue is taking care of my family.  Husbands and children are the most fattening thing in my life.  Thursday something clicked.  I take care of my self more than many women.  I go for a monthly massage and pedicure.  I get together with friends on a monthly basis.  I meet with a spiritual group on a regular basis.  I signed up for classes.  But, when it comes to the day to day my family comes first. 

This is an issue in my mind, my make up.  My kids are old enough to fend for themselves.  I'm the one setting the dinner time.  They're not demanding what time we eat.  Something needs to shift in my thinking.  I came home that day and everyone was gone.  Son was at work and hubby took youngest for new glasses.  I laced up my sneakers, dragged out the treadmill, put on my headphones and started walking.  I use the rolling hills mode at a pretty decent clip.  It felt good.  I made supper when I was done.

Hubby and youngest got home just as I was finishing dinner.  Hmmph!  And why am I not doing this every night.  I know I feel better.  Do I like to feel like crap?

So, Friday I got home and walked first even with everyone sitting watching TV.  I warned son not to come downstairs while I'm on the treadmill.  That is unless he wants to see me in my bra.  I had that thing cranked and I was sweating like crazy.  A quick shower and then dinner.  No complaints. So, what have I been waiting for.

This morning I walked before anyone even woke up.  Time for me to feel good every day not just when I can fit it into my schedule.