A few months back I read somewhere that if it is not a resounding yes for you then your answer should be no. I've been sort of living my life that way for years but this year I am really consciously putting that into practice.
I remember the first time I said no to something for a committee I was on. The shocked look of the chairperson still amuses me. No, I can not do that. Ah, and I know no explanation is needed. So many feel the need to say no and justify it. No need. No, period.
Work as an accountant is not a resounding yes. There are many aspects of my job I enjoy but.... I don't hate the job and when I look at all the resounding yes responses I can give because of the job I stay there. It serves its purpose.
Travel, gardening, cooking, dancing, reading, hiking, friends, herbs, love all are resounding yeses. I have found several tribes that sustain and support me on that path. I am blessed. My foolish wisdom group has been a monthly constant for years now. They challenge my thinking, offer love and support and make me laugh. My shimmy sisters have accepted me with open arms. We belly dance together and lunch and walk and laugh.
Drama, energy vampires, dishonesty are all items that bring a no response from me.