I was reading a blog the other day and the thought occurred to me that I try to live in gratitude not just have it. What does that mean? People have gratitude for people, things, places, circumstances and I have that too. But living in gratitude for me means that I start from that place within me. Oh, you may not see that side of me. I come to this little blog to vent many times. But, the vent over I can move on with life instead of holding onto whatever is bothering me.
Maybe that's why all the whining and complaining get to me. The extended power outage for example. I was so glad for what we did have. We made it an adventure at home and had fun with it. One woman at work who has a generator hard wired into her house whined and whined. She didn't know if she could live through one more day. And since then I've noticed that each day she comes in with some type of complaint. Can't they fix the roads faster or at a different time? It makes my drive to work difficult. I have no time or energy for these vampires. They suck the energy and gratitude right out of life.
I was told yesterday that my blog has taken on a different vibe lately. Maybe because I've taken on a different vibe. A few of the major stresses are out of my life. I spend more time contemplating what feeds my soul, that of my family. If it is not nourishing I do not participate, invite it in or befriend it (and I'm not talking about just people here). I have been practicing letting go.
During a council of women a month ago something shifted. I really listened to each woman speak. I didn't think ahead to what I would say or what my reaction was I just listened. I've been trying to stay in that place more and more. I also connected my head and my heart in the fact that my children's relationship with bio is no reflection on me. They chose her for a mother to learn some type of lesson and it is not for me to stop that process. What a freeing feeling. And one more key to letting myself live in a place of gratitude.