Happy Birthday, Mom

My mom and me in front of Granny's house

Today is the anniversary of my mom's 39th birthday.  I won't say which one as that will give away her poorly kept secret.  I'm not sure her 39th year was a stellar one or that it was just cliche to stop counting after that.  My brother chose to stop counting the year he met his wife.  That is until his kids decided he had to gain a year each new birthday.  I'm an eternal optimist and even if I have a stellar year I believe the present one can be just as good or better.  I am no seven years older than my mom.  And my Dad is now married to a much younger woman; one he has apparently married to longer than she has had birthdays.  And this is the family I hail from.  A tad but crazy, but loving and supportive.
I see many people with broken relationships with their mother or so dysfunctional that it takes years to heal if ever.  My mom had such a relationship.  My Granny was a piece of work.  My mom was 39 for a few years before she made peace with this.  She was nothing compared to bio but that is another story for another day.  I learned many things from my mom.  Some directly and others from observation.  I don't knit or crochet like she does.  She's amazing and I cherish many items she has made for me over the years.  Over the years she worked with cement, basket weaving, decoupage and so many other crafts.  I channeled my creativity into cooking, cross stitch and soap making.
I often wondered if she had a good paying job, a career, if she would still be married to my dad.  They went through some really challenging times and I think what kept her there was her fear to be on her own.  She was also more content with the devil she knew rather than the devil she didn't.  She always compared dad to their friends and said she would take him over all of them.  But, their friends were dad's friends and their wives so what did that really say?  Her dating advice to me was that, "all men are assholes, get used to it."  I took this as a challenge.  I'm happy to report that I found a man I don't consider an ass.  We have our moments but..... I vowed I would never be in a position I could not walk out the door.  I succeeded.  Maybe I'm wrong but knowing that gives me the freedom to choose.
What I learned from my mom is that you are never too old to like rock n' roll, play your music loud, dance, laugh or want sex.  She was embarrassed to talk to me about the mechanics of sex but, what she did say indirectly was that sex was good, lots of sex was even better.
She never told me I could be anything I wanted.  She let me be anything I wanted.  She always has my back whether she understands or likes what I'm doing or not. She taught me to speak my mind.
So, to my mom who was celebrating the day having breakfast at a biker bar with my dad - happy birthday!

Vacation is over

     But a wonderful vacation it was.  I had two weeks off over the holidays.  I didn't accomplish anything and everything all at the same time.  It started with six batches of cookies and gathering with my family.  My parents flew up from Florida the week before Christmas.  They left early Christmas morning.  That Sunday was a gathering with them and my brother's family.  My niece and nephew were in a play at church and the afternoon was spent eating lasagna, laughing and playing.  Christmas Eve morning I had my parents for our traditional breakfast.
     That night we broke tradition and stayed home.  A bacon wrapped pork loin for three.  Then youngest headed to her room to dance and hubby and I went to deliver cookies to the emergency dispatchers.  On our way home we rendezvoused with mother and father-in-love who had picked son up at the airport.  He was on leave from the military and flying in to surprise his sister.  We managed to get him in the house and tucked in his room without her knowing.  The look on her face as he came down the stairs Christmas morning was priceless.We headed to the in-laws for a quiet dinner that day.
     Another day was spent shopping in Northampton with the cousins.  An evening fire department party.  An afternoon of Bliss Yoga.  An amazing afternoon with my wise and foolish friends. A morning spent making soap and lip balm.  Books read.  Needle pointing worked on. Pages filled in my art journal.  A day spent with my niece; bonding over lunch, frozen yogurt, books and shopping.  A celebration of son's nineteenth birthday.
     New Year's Eve we had a thanksgiving feast.  It was son's last night home and we had tur-duck-en , mashed potatoes, roasted butternut squash, cookies and birthday cake.  New Year's Eve or the calender flip as my girlfriend calls it doesn't hold much importance in my life.  No need to wait until midnight for some magic to occur.  Magic happens all the time and for me the evening was about family and love.  Son was whisked to the airport in the wee hours of the morning (he had to be there at 0430 hours).
     It was a great vacation of family, friends, relaxing, puttering, dreaming and planning.

Gratitude

     It is the wee hours of Thanksgiving morning.  I'm sipping my first cup of coffee and catching up on blogs and such.  Soon I will make my way to the kitchen to putter, cook, create and pack up my lotions and potions for the Spirit of Giving: Holiday Marketplace on Saturday.  It is my first fair and I have my table set up in the "dining room" as a dry run to make sure I have everything.  And I ponder what I am grateful for.
     Each morning I wake up grateful to be alive.  My simple prayer to the universe is thank you.  I find living with a grateful heart makes me happy, grounded and hopeful.  It also helps when those energy vampires attack - we all have at least one of those people in our lives.  But, I digress.  This year I have a gratitude jar.  I've filled it with colorful slips of paper with items that spark gratitude in me.  I put notes in it from my niece and nephew.  The card from the flowers one of my clients sent me just because they appreciate me.
     This year is a quiet day of celebration.  My parents have migrated South for the winter.  Their pilgrimage two months earlier than in the past.   My hubby is in the middle of his work week so he will be sleeping most of the day (he works nights) and joining us for dinner as usual.  Youngest is the only child at home.  Three for a special meal.  We discussed over dinner a few weeks back what we would like to eat.  Turkey was sent packing.  The Thanksgiving I had for my parents before they left was enough turkey for my family. I'll miss the leftover meat for sandwiches but....  So the menu this year is

• Bacon wrapped pork loin
• roasted potatoes
• roasted, mashed butternut squash
• Creamy Brussels sprouts
• Sausage Dressing
• Maple Pecan Pie
• Pumpkin Pie

Oh, and my hubby and daughter said I could make a pie for myself as well.  Mighty big of them  I think we have plenty for three.  And I'm thinking bacon, pork sandwiches will be great leftovers.
     I am grateful my parents are healthy, can travel at will, have a great social network and friends to enjoy the holiday with.  I am grateful for my mother and father-in-love.  They are very supportive and kind.  We have had some growing pains in the past but they seem to be behind us.  I am grateful that my children are healthy and following their dreams. I am grateful for youngest's hugs and eyerolls.  I am grateful for my loving, supportive hubby.  He still rocks my world after all these years.  I am grateful for amazing, crazy, creative, inspiring friends.  I am grateful for my clients who make going to work enjoyable.  I am grateful to have a job that pays me enough to live the life I want. I am grateful for my new business. I am grateful that I am in a position that I can help others with my time, prayers and donations. I am truly blessed and am so grateful for all the things in my life.
   

What I've Learned from Pinterest

     I started slowly on pinterest.  I liked seeing what my friends were interested in and looking at all the pictures.  I made a few categories to pin to and it grew from there.  A few minutes here and there just scrolling through images calms me down and ignites my creative fires.
     I have discovered that I really like iron work as part of my home decor.  I kind of knew that before but now....  I discovered that I have an obsession with cool doors and so do a lot of others.  I never knew so many creative ways to incorporate spirals.  Cool quotes, and wicked quotes abound.  I'm not really into pinning recipes.  That struck me as odd.  I really, REALLY, love to cook and have a huge cookbook collection but do I really need one more recipe?  Well, yeah but now it is as an inspiration or flavor profile.  As a result I weeded out my cookbooks and have a huge pile to donate.
     I am awed at creative ways to organize and decorate.  I am soothed by beautiful artwork.  I realized that I could find free cross stitch patterns.  I made a "sign" for my kitchen and a birth announcement cross stitch for a friend.  I've always took patterns and added my own spin - adding or deleting as I saw fit so now I have so much to work with.

     I am prepping for my first craft fair.  I've been making products to sell for months now.  And through pinterest I found great ways to display my wares, marketing tools, tips for craft fairs, and new product ideas.  As a result I've combined new scents for soaps, created several new lip balms and a cuticle salve.  I think I may be ready.
     I have dabbled a little with art journaling.  An amazing friend and teacher introduced me to the idea a while ago.  I'm am far to self conscious with art to go all out so, I tend to pull back.  I took one of her intro to Heart Journaling classes and was so inspired I started again.  She let me know I had the freedom to "mess" up.  I could paint over, collage over it or learn from it.  And then I looked on pinterest - holy art journal inspiration.
     OK, sometimes I do need to set a timer or I could get lost but, I know I have benefited from most of my time on the addictive site.  

Blog Blast for Peace

 
  Today is the day that bloggers all over the globe blog about peace.  I've been thinking a lot about what I would write.  What does peace mean to me?  I had to start with deep, deep gratitude for growing up in a family, in a neighborhood a community that was safe and nurturing.  I can still call on those neighbors and refer to them as aunts and uncles.  With that foundation I was able to grow and stretch and be who I am today.  I am happy with where I am at physically, mentally and spiritually.  I am happy with the journey I am on.
     Yet for many in this world they do not have this luxury.  I try but cannot wrap my head around many of the atrocities in this world, in this country, in this town.  My heart hurts for so many reasons when I contemplate all that is happening outside of my little bubble.  And I am overwhelmed by all that I cannot do to help.  So i bring it back in.  I can be that safe foundation for my children.  I can touch the lives of those around me.  Like the stone tossed on still waters my actions can ripple out into the world.  I can pray. I can take action.  I can love. And even in these imperfect gestures, because after all I am human, I believe I can make a difference.
     I remember when I was young and I would see the signs saying "Make love not war."  I thought they were great.  I thought they were about sex.  Everything at that time was about sex.  I was born in part to seal the deal that my dad would not be drafted to go to Vietnam.  He was a little too old, he was married and now had a baby.  It was later in life that the true words of that sign sunk in.  Love in all its forms.  You do not need to like someone to love them.  Having children really drives that point home.  Some days I do not like my kids but I love them any way.  I love them through the growing up, the rebelling, the doubts, the trials and errors.  I love them because they are children trying to find their way in this world.  And I believe this has made a difference.  I know that love made a difference in my life.
     But what about loving your enemies or that annoying person at work.  I'm really working on that.  And if not love at least compassion.  And some days the most compassionate thing I can do is shut up and walk away.
     So peace for me is a circle of love, compassion and trying to make a difference one small gesture at a time.  And if we can agree to disagree slowly peace will ripple out over coming the hate and the fear.

He's home

     This past week son graduated from Marine boot camp.  Hubby, youngest and I drove down for the ceremony and family day.  MIL and FIL also drove down to meet us.  We picked youngest up from school on Tuesday and made it to Baltimore.  We headed out bright and early and arrived at the hotel a few minutes before my in-laws.  We had stopped at the visitor's center on the way in to town to use the facilities and were given some great directions and advice.  The center is housed in a historic home and is oh so charming.  We asked about a great place to eat and we were directed to The Brick.  The service was great, the live music was great and the food - out of this world.
     I had been taking milky oat straw tincture to calm my nerves.  We had no idea if bio would show up.  She had threatened to - I mean she promised son she would.  Just before arrival in town youngest said she didn't think she was coming because oldest said they had no money.  I guess getting a job and saving money was out of the question.  She only had 15 months to save up for it.  Still, MIL and I waited Thursday morning in anticipation.  I was prepared mentally and had all my sisters back home sending good medicine my way.
     We were on the Island early to watch the motivational run.  We sat in the bleachers watching the family day films and then we had our son for liberty for the afternoon.  I had brought a full batch of cookies for him. Bio didn't show.  In the films it had a short clip interviewing parents.  They said they were surprised when their son/daughter signed up for the Marines.  They were nervous, shocked, angry, etc. etc.  Hubby and I couldn't relate.  Son has been looking at the military his entire life and the Marine's for the last six years.  They told us our Marine would be different - polite, fit, mature, etc.  Well, our Marine was different.  He was smiling from ear to ear.  He looked like himself only in uniform.  He wouldn't eat the cookies while we were walking (not allowed) so we stopped and he inhaled a good pile of them.
     After liberty was over we had dinner on base with some of his drill instructors.  When they asked about a change in him I replied, "he smiles more."  They looked at each other and at me.  He never smiled for us was their reply.  No, I'm sure he didn't.  He is way to serious for that.  We explained that he has been prepping for this for years.  The Marine's only reinforced who he was already.
     Friday we arrived early again for the colors ceremony.  The Marine Band played and the flag was raised.  What an impressive ceremony.  The band is fantastic (and that is a huge understatement).  Then it was off to the graduation.  Pictures and heading home.
     Oh, the other thing different - he let me take pictures both days - lots of pictures.  When we got in the car to head home he stated before we even left the Island that he was pissed his mom hadn't come.  He said she only wrote twice and that he stopped writing to her because he received no reply.  He had a pile of cards and letters from us and family and friends.  He then proceeded to eat his way home.
     I've stocked up on all his favorite foods.  I've been cooking up a storm.  Cheddar biscuits and sausage gravy for breakfast, enchilada casserole for supper, plus banana bread and a green tomato cake.  The cake was a new recipe (thanks Rose) that I didn't think I could try until I found green tomatoes at the farmer's market.  It was a big hit.  Check the link for the recipe.  The only change I made was using pumpkin pie spice for the cinnamon and nutmeg. Today we're starting with baked oatmeal.  The rest of the week includes bacon cheese burgers and baked potato salad, ribs and cole slaw, beef stroganoff, chili, corn chowder, more cookies and a double chocolate mocha trifle.

Fall Day

It was a beautiful fall day.  The sun was warm but the air was a little crisp.  Perfect in my book.

I did a few chores and headed to yoga.  I took a class that challenged my sense of balance and my muscles.  It felt good.  Afterwards I walked across the street to the farmers market and snagged some spaghetti squash, heirloom tomatoes and fingerling potatoes.  I then headed up the street to a craft fair.  Some  lovely crafts and hugs and visits with friends.

After stopping at the grocery store I spent the afternoon making soap.  I was careful to let the temperatures of the two mixtures agree.  I didn't rush the process as I would like to.  After the first batch of lavender & lime was poured into the molds I cleaned up what I needed to and started a second batch.  I tested my patience once again with a batch of sweet orange soap.

Roasted some chicken with a batch of za'tar that I had made and sauteed some sweet onions, bell peppers, squash and beet greens together for a simple supper.  And while the chicken roasted my Dad surprised me with a visit.

Life is good.