because someone asked

I'm doing good, thanks for asking.

The countdown is on. Oldest gets on the train Wednesday for her 60 hour trek across country. Yesterday was her going away party. I'm not sure what she thought of it (she would never think to comment). I think it went well. Aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents were all there to wish her well.

This is our first winter "picnic" and it went so well we are planning one for March. Usually we get together memorial day, 4th of July and labor day. From September to May is too long not to see everyone.

We brought boxes home and oldest is actually packing some. Tomorrow she will have packed and sorted everything. I'm home for that.

Hubby is adjusting slowly. Having back up from the counselor helped there. He knows he has done the best he can do and now he just has to let her go. Not easy. It's easier for me - my family is a big proponent of letting grown children sink or swim. Hubby's family wants to hold on tight forever.

I've been making it a point to visit the spa regularly and get together with friends. It is hard in my crazy schedule for that sometimes but I am getting better at making the time.

Hubby took this week as vacation. He needed one.

And summer vacation is booked. Nothing like a vacation to look forward to.

Met the parents

Saturday night hubby and I met boyfriend's parents for dinner. We were a little anxious and so were they. It turned out to be a nice evening. We got along great and they are as much in the dark about the moving plans as we are.

All the two know is that they are leaving on the 19th for Arizona by train. They have given neither one of us an exact time we are taking them to the station. It's been like pulling teeth to get them to pack up their rooms. We had to explain to oldest that maybe she should think about taking ALL of her clothes as she has none out there. Over New Year's boyfriend took her shopping. Nice, but you can only take three bags with you to move across country. Where are you going to school? I dunno know. Where are you sleeping? I dunno know. Where is boyfriend sleeping? I dunno know. Does the trailer have heat, water? I dunno know. What are you doing for work? phone? with your car? health insurance? birth control? I dunno know.

Apparently boyfriend's pat answer is the same. There is no logic in this move at all. It is purely emotional and oldest's desire (orders) to see bio.

The latest plan is oldest is sleeping at bio's on the couch. Boyfriend is sleeping in a trailer with heat but no water behind grandma's double wide. He will be expected to get a job and pay rent. He is signed up for school because his mom made him. He will be taking online courses through his current college as it was too late to transfer out there. They've only been planning this move since last summer.

Boyfriend's parents had no idea they were engaged. They did think the rings were kind of odd. I give him three months before he is back. It will be major culture shock for him. A single child with everything handed to him who hates smoking moving into a trailer park where everyone chain smokes. He will have no car and no friends. Oldest will be in the next town over with no car. And they think they don't see each other enough here. Hmmm! Bio is using him to get her there. Oldest really thinks she loves him but will be torn between him and bio. And she can not say no to bio.

Ah, it will be interesting to see how this unfolds.

And I'm just ready for her to go. She's left already and is pretty miserable to live with. Boyfriend's mom said the same about him.

How are you?

Peachy is my sarcastic reply.

Today's reply - I'm alive.

In the big picture life is pretty good. Right now I'm caught between the emotional upheaval Oldest is causing and my husbands emotional breakdown over it. He talked to his boss and he's taking some vacation time. He'll be off the week oldest leaves and the following week. I think that will be good for everyone.

The teachers at youngest annual meeting expressed concern over oldest leaving. Youngest has already started showing some signs of distress.

All I can say is this is going to be one hell of a life lesson.

We have a going away party planned. After I explained to hubby that doesn't mean we approve it just means we love and support her no matter what her decision.

And get this, she won't even be living with bio. Bio has no room. She is going to live in a trailer parked behind her grandmothers double wide. It has heat but no water so she will have to come inside to use the bathroom. It's all OK though because boyfriend will be sharing the trailer with her.

That's right. Bio not only encouraged her daughter to leave school in the middle of her senior year, to skip mid term exams (they start the day she leaves) but to shack up with her boyfriend. Now, I'm not a prude and lived with several boyfriends before I was married but, not as a senior in high school. And under other circumstances I might encourage a couple to live together before marriage but..... there is just something wrong with this whole picture.

Win A Whimsy

My very talented friend Rose is up to her old tricks - giving away some of her lovely crafts. Stop by her blog, show some love and win a whimsy.

New Year's Eve

I've never found New Year's Eve to be that exciting. I've been to a few good parties over the years but I'm really not looking for that now. With the kids home and hubby often working I started doing an appetizer party for them. They get to stay up late and graze on all kinds of food and I get to cook. This is relaxing for me and keeps me awake way past bed time. Hubby was home this year. The kids are old enough to have some input on the menu and it was a fun quiet evening. Son was going to his girlfriends until I asked what I should make. He started naming off appetizers until I said wait, you won't be here. Well, can girlfriend come here? So girlfriend came here. Youngest had a friend over. Hubby and I had some friends stop by. Oldest went camping with boyfriend and his family.

The menu was

shrimp cocktail
steamed mussels
peperoni bread
sausage stuffed mushrooms
sausage pinwheels
salami bread
cheddar potato puffs
spinach balls
buffalo wing dip
pigs in a blanket

My girlfriend says that who you spend New Years with is who will be in your life for the coming year. Looking back I'm not sure how accurate that is but, it is interesting that oldest wasn't here this year. She turns 18 y/o January 19 and in the middle of her senior year plans to move to Arizona with boyfriend to live in the camper behind bio's home. Bio said jump and she said how high. I see some very interesting and difficult life lessons coming her way. And her bedroom will be here.

Hoping all my blog friends have a happy, healthy new year filled with love.

And tonight hubby and I are going on a date. We're both home at the same time on a non school night (gotta love our odd shifts). It must be love because he's taking me to see Johnny in The Tourist.

Happy Birthday Son

Son turns 16 today. His Christmas money is going towards his driver's ed class. We pay half like we did for his siblings before him. He will find a job and pay for his own insurance and gas if he wants to drive.
Right now he is at the movies with hubby. Hubby took the kids to see Tron while I went grocery shopping.
Son couldn't decide what his birthday meal should be but dessert would definitely be double chocolate mocha trifle. I'm making big beefy burgers, french fries and corn. That works he says. I think once he is out of the house I will never eat corn again.
Happy Birthday son, you are quit the young man.

What happened?

When I was little my brother and I were the only kids in the family. My dad insisted that we stay home and if everyone wanted to see us the could come over. Christmas Eve my Dad's parents came to visit and bring presents. Yeah! Grandpa would bring Grandma home (she didn't like crowds) and come back. My mom's parents and brother would arrive to spend the night. They would all play cards until the wee hours of the morning. We would set out a highball and cookies for Santa and try and sleep. And at the break of dawn we would wake the newly sleeping relatives up. In the afternoon we might walk across the street to the neighbors and there were lots of naps. It was a day filled with wonder and joy and was my favorite holiday for years to come.

When I was older I would search for the perfect presents, wrap everything all pretty, bake tons of cookies and have fun.

Then I grew up. I long for the days of family coming together, playing and laughing. I can't tell you a single present I received but I can tell you who was there. OK, I do remember the easy bake oven. That's because I thought it was such a girlie thing and my macho uncle helped me bake my first cake.

Now, my parents (bless them for causing no stress) let me pick a time we can celebrate (as long as it's before they migrate South on the 26th). We had Christmas Eve breakfast. It was yummy and relaxed. I spent the afternoon making a vegetarian lasagna for SIL1 and scalloped sweet potatoes for my girlfriends open house. The Christmas Eve open house is casual, a buffet of luscious simple food and no pressure. Christmas day I was given special privilege to show up at my brother's before noon so I could see my niece and nephew and deliver presents before going to my in-laws. My brother took Christmas as his holiday (I have Thanksgiving and Mom has Easter) yet, he wants it to be a quiet family day without extended family. My parents sit at home waiting until the appointed time.

Then it's off to my in-laws. I feel bad for MIL and FIL - they want that warm fuzzy holiday with all of their kids and it's just not warm and fuzzy. My hubby has hardly any relationship with his siblings. It's not that they fight or anything - they're just not close. BIL's kids are constantly text messaging or on their lap top (even through dinner). Then BIL and his family took off into the other room to watch the Celtics game. We saw them briefly when they gave out presents. Several years ago we decided that we would not exchange presents - the cousins just wanted to get together. This has worked beautifully. We were just shuffling gift cards around that none of us could really afford to buy. For what ever reason SIL1 decided she was buying gift cards this year. BIL gave us the heads up. I said I could not afford it and I would not be doing the same. SIL2 said she could not afford it either, And I knew this would happen SIL2 felt bad that SIL1 was buying her kids gift cards so she gave each of the kids presents(cash). So here I sat as all the cousins (our kids) received presents and I had nothing to hand out. And I didn't care. I hope that SIL1 and SIL2 explain that we decided not to exchange gifts and that we don't have the money but then again who cares. MIL was on my side in this one. FIL was beside him self with the electronics not being turned off and their dog making it impossible for his cat to use the litter box. Or maybe it was how he was informed that basketball would be watched at his house on Christmas whether he liked it or not (OK, not in so blunt of terms but you get the idea).

And the joy of the holidays that I remember as a kid are a beautiful memory that will never be recaptured. And maybe they shouldn't.